Ring Fit Adventure -- Extra Sesame
by NullNoMore
Summary: Ye olde cafe AU for Ring Fit Adventure! The new hire is trying to understand her awkward co-worker, Ring. But how can she help if he keeps hiding every time a certain tall, dark, and overly-muscled customer shows up?


_Guru Andma's Tea House - Smoothie with Extra Sesame_

_a/n: Ye olde cafe AU, where the new hire is trying to solve the problems of her co-workers. Today's candidate: that shy guy, Ring, who keeps hiding whenever a muscle-bound someone from his past shows up._

* * *

Trainee was taking out her anger on a crate of limes and the industrial citrus squeezer. Grab, shove, half pull, reposition, big pull, toss. Usually this task was low on her list of favorite chores. Whenever her coworker Armando plunked down another bucket of the small green fruits, shouting that it was time to "SQUEEZE!", she'd do her best to make herself scarce. But today she needed to crush something and the limes were serving as the substitute.

The person she really wanted to smash (and not that way, thanks) was currently hiding in the tiny walk-in freezer, hardly bigger than a closet. She knew why. 6 o'clock was closing in on them, and that meant the regular visit of a certain tall, dark, and overly-muscled customer. The one that had Ring fleeing the counter every day since he'd first squeezed through their door.

Trainee had actually just started work earlier that week, so it had taken her a while to figure out. She just thought that it was natural for Ring to take a break then. After a while, it had become obvious that he never started his break until the shadow of his ex could be seen rounding the corner of the street.

But today was supposed to be different. Today Ring was supposed to be the one to take Dragaux's order, a formality since the man always ordered the exact same thing. Not Trainee, not Amando, not anyone else. Today he was supposed to stand up and act his age, assert himself, stop being a total flake. He'd announced his New Year's resolution in a loud if quavering voice the minute he'd walked in to work. Everyone had congratulated him. Then he'd found one excuse after another. Inventory needed to be done, even though the stockroom was pristine. The owner needed someone to pick up extra sesame seeds, even though Armando was due to arrive and could bring it on his way. He had to grab some extra change from the bank. Like they had so many cash orders, ha!

The other workers were sympathetic and patient. Trainee wasn't. She wasn't there to be understanding. Andma had hired her specifically to shake things up. "We have a good groove, my dear, but that's only one step away from being a rut. If we don't innovate, we're going to go under." True to her employer's wishes, Trainee had brought in new ideas. More emphasis on healthy smoothies for the evening crowd, better coffee in the mornings for commuters, and new snacks in astonishing colors and spice levels for the tide of high schoolers that flooded the cafe every afternoon.

Trainee was also itching to shake her coworkers out of their ruts, starting with Ring. He was a nice guy, if a bit of a blind optimist, but something about his relationship with his ex was really holding him back. She'd finally gotten him to commit to talking to the other man, on this very day. She'd circled the square on the store calendar. Today he'd do the painfully simple act of being a normal human being talking to another normal human being and living to tell the tale.

He was not supposed to be hiding in the freezer.

Trainee pulled the lever viciously on one last innocent lime. She'd had it. She'd drag Ring out by one of his oversized ears and not let go until Dragaux had been served. Maybe she couldn't get him to talk, but she could keep him from hiding. She walked to the freezer door and glared at Ring.

He looked worriedly at her and pulled an earbud from one ear. A tiny voice, suspiciously like that of her cowering coworker, chirped positive reinforcements quietly mixed with up-tempo music. ("Good job! Amazing! You got this!") Ring cleared his throat. "You need something?"

"Yes, and you know exactly what. You need to get your glutes out there right now. We're at t-minus-5, and I'm not letting you weasel out of it."

"I can't." He hung his head. "I just can't."

"Give me one good reason."

"He'll think I'm stalking him."

"What? Why on earth would he think that?!"

"Because it's true."

Trainee covered her mouth and stared. "That's messed up," she finally managed to say.

"Yeah. I got this job because it was his favorite place."

"Really messed up," she repeated.

"I thought I could pretend that it was accidental. Like, oh, ha ha, small world. And maybe I could pretend that I didn't ghost him all those years ago."

"Was it bad?"

"Quit my job at the gym where we worked, deleted my profiles, changed my phone. Moved in the middle of the night."

"Wow."

"I was one wooden shack short of going off the grid, okay? I just didn't know how to handle the situation."

"Look, I don't need to know the details, honest, but is this a dangerous thing? Like, am I gonna come in one day and find chalk marks on the sidewalk?" She shook her head. "It's not funny, I know, but, come on, what's the deal?"

Ring looked panicked. "No, no, you don't need to worry. Dragaux was going through things and I didn't like it. Couldn't convince him, so I split. I hear he's changed, gotten himself clean. So, no, aside from me being a painful waste of space, no danger."

"So all these months you've been hiding and not hiding."

"Longer than that."

"And yet he keeps coming back, ordering the same thing. I mean, the exact same thing."

"Super red mix, right? He loved the fruit ones most. Great for the arms, he always said. He has great arms," Ring whispered sadly. "But I always knew it was because he had a sweet tooth."

"What? No. He always gets the beefsteak plant and ashitaba, with extra sesame." Ring's head snapped up. A stunned expression made him look even goofier than normal. Trainee wrinkled her nose in sympathy. "I know, right? That's probably the grossest combo we sell, second only to the vanilla-asparagus swirl."

She didn't get a chance to expand on how absolutely vile some of the legacy smoothie flavors were because two things happened in rapid succession. First, the bell on the door chimed loudly. Second, Ring all but shoved her to one side as he raced to the counter. She heard him practically shout the standard greeting.

"WelcometoGuruAndma'sTeaHousehomeofthebestsmoothiesinN-townwhatcanIgetyou?" He'd run out of breath by the end, barely gasping out the last words. Then there was silence.

She poked her head out the door, ready to leap into the cafe and do ... what, exactly? She could shove Ring back in the freezer if he started acting any weirder, and she might, just maybe, be able to bounce Dragaux out of the cafe, if she got the drop on him. Or maybe she could call the fire department if either of them spontaneously combusted from embarrassment. Mostly, she wanted to find out what happened next.

Nothing happened. The two men stared at each other, each gripping their respective edge of the counter that stood between them. Finally, Trainee said hesitantly, "I think he wants his regular. You know. Beekfsteak plant and..."

"IWOULDLIKEBEEFSTEAKPLANTANDASHiTABACOMBOWITH... with ... ... with ... ..." Dragaux's voice dwindled.

"Extra sesame?" squeaked Ring.

"Yeah, because you always had to be extra."

"I'm sorry," said Ring, and anyone with two brain cells knew he meant it down to his toes.

"Hey, that was supposed to be my line," rumbled Dragaux. "I meant to say that the first day I spotted you, and I never could. Instead, I've been stuck, drinking that disgusting favorite of yours every day. Hell in smoothie format, but nothing as bad as not talking to you."

It was 6 o'clock at Guru Andma's Tea House. Once again, Trainee was stuck on smoothie duty while her co-worker took his daily break. This time she didn't mind at all.

* * *

_(Mind you, she still has to sort out Abdonis' mother issues, Allegra's girlfriend problems, and Armando's lack of girlfriend problems. Please, no, brain, please stop.)_

_Also: holy cow, I finally escape Xenoblade X and this is where I land? WHYYYYYYYY?_


End file.
